I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
