Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize