she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
