Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
