Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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