Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
