i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize