i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
