i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
