We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
