Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
sex in a hospital.. check
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
