I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
