He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
