Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
