im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
