We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
