dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
