He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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