I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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