fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
