dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize