i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
