i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize