ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
