their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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