They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
