this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
