sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
