3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
