i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
