Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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