ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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