If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
