Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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