apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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