I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
