would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
