I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
