if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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