she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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