I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
