i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
