it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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