i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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