She announced her abortion via fbk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
