I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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