sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
