it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
