Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize