Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
