Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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