I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
