Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
