I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
