it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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