The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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