her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
