i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize