It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
