she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
