He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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